Simply writing/reading them doesn't work.
For example...
If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.
See?
You can't "write" silence.
If I were telling the joke, though, the joke would have paid off handsomely.
I'm reminded of that literary limitation as I share the following news item regarding the state that has the single worst eating habits in the United States.
http://finance.yahoo.com/family-home/article/112083/10-states-with-the-deadliest-eating-habits
Actually, this isn't news to me.
I've not only heard/read this information in other places at other times, but I lived and worked in Mississippi for a couple of years that, thankfully, seem like a long, long time ago now.
And, being the impish scamp that I am inclined to be from time to time, I actually shared this information with the listeners of the morning radio show I was doing right there in the clogged artery capital of the country.
I suspect the laughs were few.
Laughing at oneself while eating oneself to death tend to be contradictory tendencies.
And while I wasn't averse to lampooning (or harpooning, as the case may be) the hand that was feeding/listening to me, I did show a modicum of discretion.
I never aired the obvious punchline.
Which I am proud to share here, exclusively, for the very first time anywhere with all of you who so graciously allow this blog into your homes, hearts and hard drives.
The setup: "Mississippi leads the nation in adult and child obesity, as well as all of the associated health risks and damages resulting from, literally, eating and drinking themselves to death............"
The punchline: "...experts believe that this phenomenon is a direct result of people realizing that they live in Mississippi.."
Given the aforementioned limitations of writing, as opposed to verbalizing, humor, I realize that the laughter invoked here will have to be assumed.
And that whole business about "if you don't have anything nice to say...?
INSERT SILENCE HERE.
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