Sunday, June 29, 2008

"Somewhere Else Over The Ranbow..."



We’re pretty hard up for heroes.

And you’d think that, with the sacrifices that our loved ones are making around the world, heroes would be a bumper crop.

Apparently not.

LONDON, England (CNN) -- Amy Winehouse's first full UK show in seven months has been overshadowed by an incident in which she appeared to throw a punch at a fan in the front row.

The incident occurred during the troubled singer's performance Saturday at the Glastonbury Festival in front of around 80,000 people.

Stepping down into the pit between the outdoor stage and the audience during a rendition of "Rehab," Winehouse seemed to lash out at a member of the crowd before being gently escorted back to the stage by security staff. It was unclear what provoked the altercation.

Winehouse's appearance at the legendary festival had appeared doubtful since she was hospitalized after collapsing at her London home earlier this month.

In newspaper interviews published last weekend, Mitch Winehouse, the singer's father, said his daughter had damaged her lungs and developed early-stage emphysema as a consequence of allegedly smoking crack cocaine and cigarettes.

But the 24-year-old returned to the stage Friday by performing alongside other stars at Nelson Mandela's 90th birthday celebration concert in London.

"You don't even know how happy I am to be here tonight," Winehouse told Glastonbury. She also paid tribute to her jailed husband Blake Fielder-Civil, prompting jeers from some in the crowd.

The obvious question that comes screaming out here is why we indulge, even worship, people like Winehouse who, while talented, are squandering their gifts and are obviously just one more overdose away from becoming Breaking News.

Flip side of the coin, maybe?

Yin and yang?

Good and dark side of the force?

Or just the same old shit.

Marilyn Monroe.
Judy Garland.
Britney Spears.

Your guess is as good as mine.

I liked the song “Rehab”.

Catchy. A hit.

Other than that, not a big Winehouse fan.

First, it hasn’t escaped my notice that you never see her and “Janice” from “Friends” together.

Oh, myyy gawwwwwwwd.

Coincidence?

Hmmm.

And second, I don’t think you have to be a certain age to realize that when it comes to heroes, we can do better.

To be fair, though, I’ll say this.

If Amy decides to strap on a flak jacket and patrol the streets of Baghdad, I’ll be the first guy to sign up in support of her struggles with drugs.

Until then, I stand by my original thought.

We’re pretty hard up for heroes.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

"Not Quite Enough Ado...About The Crew...."


There’s a funny story that gets told about Burt Bacharach.

Seems that Hal David, the lyricist who collaborated on the majority of the huge hits that he and Burt created in the sixties and seventies, and his wife, the lovely Mrs. David, were attending a party just about the time that the popularity of “Raindrops Keep Fallin’ On My Head” was peaking.

Mrs. David was small talking with a group of fellow minglers and couldn’t help but overhear a conversation that was going on in the group of small talking minglers just behind her.

One woman, in particular, was quite vocal in her praise of the talent she exalted.

“Have you heard that amazing Burt Bacharach song, “Raindrops Keep Fallin On My Head?”, she gushed.
Mrs. David sipped and ignored.

“I mean, that Burt Bacharach is just incredible…and that new song of his, “Raindrops Keep Fallin On My Head…oh, my…”
Mrs. David sipped and ignored.

“It’s just stunning what a magnificent song that “Raindrops Keep Fallin On My Head” is and that talented Burt Bacara……..”

Mrs. David turned and politely tapped the lady on the shoulder.

“I’m sorry to interrupt,” the missus gently spoke…”but…..HAL DAVID wrote “Raindrops Keep Fallin On My Head……..Burt Bacharach wrote (imagine hearing the melody) “dum dum de dum de dum dad um”.

The point is, credit where its due, is that credit often doesn’t arrive where it’s due.
Case in point…this week’s induction of the world class band of studio musicians known, in the sixties, as The Wrecking Crew.

Here’s a link where you can read the gist of it.

http://www.contactmusic.com/news.nsf/article/the%20wrecking%20crew%20inducted%20into%20rockwalk_1072669

And while Glen Campbell, Hal Blaine and Don Randi were certainly members of the elite gang, there were many, many talented folks who completed the picture.

Here’s a list from Wilkipedia:

guitar: Glen Campbell, Barney Kessel, Tommy Tedesco, Billy Strange, Don Peake, Carol Kaye, Al Casey
saxophone: Steve Douglas, Jay Migliori, Jim Horn, Plas Johnson
trumpet: Tony Terran, Ollie Mitchell
keyboards: Leon Russell, Mac Rebennack (aka Dr. John), Mike Melvoin, Don Randi, Larry Knechtel, Al Delory
bass: Carol Kaye, Joe Osborn, Max Bennett, Chuck Berghofer, Ray Pohlman, Larry Knechtel, Lyle Ritz, Jimmy Bond (007)
drums: Hal Blaine, Earl Palmer, Jim Gordon
percussion: Julius Wechter, Gary Coleman
conductor/arranger: Jack Nitzsche
The Ron Hicklin Singers often performed backup vocals on many of the same songs on which The Wrecking Crew had played instrumental tracks.

And, in fairness, I wasn’t at the ceremony, so I don’t know how much credit each of the members got from Glen, Don and Hal in the speechifying that surely accompanied the special occasion. But star power being what it is, I imagine Glen got the lion’s share of the spotlight.

And don’t get me wrong. I’m sure Glen, of all people, knows the contributions that were made by each and every one, including my dear friend Billy Strange and the ground breaking, ceiling shattering female bassist Carol Kaye.

Don’t mean to bash anybody here, either.

Just wanted to jump and down a little from the street here as the bandwagon rolls by, by way of alerting you to the fact that a lot of very talented people deserve equal time and attention for the history making music they made together.

Sum of the parts and all that.

So, congrats and hats off to all of you on the Wrecking Crew for what you have given to pop music.

Oh…and the opening line…that “there’s a funny story told about Burt Bacharach?”

The story was actually about Hal David.

Sorry, Mrs.

"Shut Up, Karl...."


Will Rogers had it half right.

He once said “I am not a member of an organized political party…I am a Democrat.”

He could have just as easily have added Republican and it would have rung just as true.

I mention this only because, regardless of what people inside my sphere of life think, I’m really neither Republican or Democrat, nor am I pro or anti anyone in particular at any given time simply because of their party affiliation. And although I have, traditionally, found myself on the side of Democratic, as opposed to Republican, stands more often than not, I’ve always made up my mind about politicians on a case-by-case basis.

For example, I think that Lyndon Johnson was, ultimately, a failed President.
Democrat.

I think Ronald Reagan, while a poor role model (make the rich richer), was a successful administrator.
Republican.

Bill Clinton, while a poor role model (make interns), was a successful administrator.
Democrat.

Jimmy Carter, meanwhile, while a wonderful role model, couldn’t run a successful Starbucks, let alone the country.
Democrat.

All of which is my long-winded way of saying that when I offer that George W. Bush is, in my opinion, one of the worst presidents in the history of the country, it has nothing to do with his, or my, party affiliation.

I don’t need to know what model car I’m driving to know whether or not it’s a lemon.

And with gas prices what they are, thank heaven, because I don’t get to drive nearly as much as I did eight years ago.

But this little op ed isn’t really about Dubya.

It’s about his buds.

Enter Karl Rove.

If a man is judged by the company he keeps, then George W. Bush will have a lot to answer for when his judgment day comes along.

Because Karl Rove represents (and, I might add, with great pride and zeal) everything that is wrong with the system we use to elect presidents in this country.

Vince Lombardi once said “Winning isn’t everything…it’s the only thing.”

Compared to Rove, Lombardi is a nancy boy.

And I have neither the time nor inclination to shopping list all of Rove’s tactics.
If you want to read the playbook, just Google the guy.

Suggested search words: Karl…Rove…Antichrist.

If you use that last one, you may have to weed through a lot of stuff about Ann Coulter, but just keep scrolling.

What has my knickers in a twist, this morning, about the Rovenator is his quoted comment the other day that Barrack Obama is “arrogant”.

Excuse me?

And don’t assume I’m taking Obama’s side.

The campaign is young and he may, in fact, be the most arrogant person in national politics.
But for the guy who put George W. Bush in the White House to call anybody arrogant is a kettle being called black by the pot on a scale not seen in contemporary times.

And somebody should remind Karlboy that he’s on a slippery slope this time around if he’s even suspected of calling this guy black.

Karl Rove…meet Don Imus.

Meanwhile, back to the point…

I don’t know what I honestly think about Barack Obama at this moment.
And I don’t know what I honestly think about John McCain at this moment.

I want to listen and read and learn and ponder and decide for myself.

What I do know is that I don’t want to hear Obama, or anyone else for that matter, labeled anything by a guy who was instrumental in putting an administration in place that has left the majority of “average” Americans in social and financial distress and whose “legacy” will be talked about with the same low, embarrassed tones that the Hasslehoff family probably uses when the words “drunk” and “David” accidentally find their way into the conversation.

Americans are losing their homes, struggling to put gas in their cars, let alone pay their bills and are still sending their loved ones to fight and die in a “conflict” that, like the conflict that sank Lyndon Johnson, seems to be a well intended ship of state without a rudder or any sight of land expected in the near future.

And Karl Rove and the segment of America that supports him and his efforts are fatter and richer and moving on to write their memoirs.

It honestly wouldn’t surprise me to hear Rove say, at some point, “let em eat cake…”

That’s what arrogant royalty says, you know.

And this being the land of the free, the guy is certainly entitled to his opinion.

If he thinks Barack Obama is arrogant, then, by all means, he’s free to think it.

But the rest of should be free to make up our own minds about the kettle without hearing from the pot.

So, do your country one big solid, would you, Karl?

Shut up.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

"Love the Shape...and The Scent.....Now, If They Just Came With Sub-Titles...."

Forget about all that “English as first language” stuff.

The melting pot that is the world is getting smaller each day and the coming together of assorted ethnicities pretty much insures that assorted languages are something that we’ll all have to just learn to live with.

If you really want to improve the state of communication in the world around you…..

….learn to speak female.

I started studying the language a long time ago and, if I say so myself, have made some progress.

Oh, I’m not even close to fluent, mind you, but I think I could hold my own in any conversation that wandered off the testosterone tracks and onto the estrogen expressway.

And while I don’t necessarily speak the language fluently, I’m pretty good at being able to translate what I hear, having used my skills on more than one occasion to assist one of my fellow cavemen in figuring out just what the hell it is she wants.

Any given she.
On any given day.

Having said that, I’d like to further our mutual evolution a little by offering up these tips to the ladies…just a few thoughts that might help you to help us to understand you so that you can understand why we don’t understand you.

Understand?

For example…



Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

Sunday sports… It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

Crying is blackmail.

Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

If something we said could be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that .

If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong..
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball
or golf.

You have enough clothes.

You have too many shoes.


Ladies….please ignore those last two.

I got carried away in the rush of feeling like I was building a bridge between the genders.

And guys….

Please ignore those last two, as well.

If not, you needn’t worry about understanding what she’s means when she says something.

Because chances are she wont be speaking to you for a while anyway.

Merry Hallogivingmas!


Just thought of something else that makes us feel old.

Besides getting older.

And Paul McCartney turning 66.

We don’t get a full twelve months in our years anymore.

In fact, we haven’t gotten a full twelve months since we were in, give or take, the second or third grade.

Oh, the calendars still offer up 365 days and the sun and moon are both in the proper rotation.

It’s not pre-emption.
It’s about perception.

Think back to the time when your life was very clearly and specifically defined by the seasons and/or the events that took place during the calendar year.

When we were kids.

And in those days, I think it fair to say that, for a lot of us, the “year” started in September with the beginning of school.

If your classroom was anything like mine, it was decorated in fall colors and we all enjoyed a respite from the readin’, writin’ and rithmetic’ portions of the school day by cutting autumn leaves, in various shades or brown and orange, out of construction paper and seeing them proudly displayed around the room, usually tacked just underneath that alphabet thing, the one that showed both block and cursive print. (If you don’t know what cursive print is, by the way, the whole point of this blog is going to be lost on you, so feel free to move on to You Tube or wherever it is all of you young people hang out these days.)

And for the better part of six weeks or more, we didn’t even give a thought to the next “season” on the list.

Until, say, around the middle of October, when we started cranking out the ghosts and goblins and jack o lanterns that let us know that Halloween was imminent.

And I honestly don’t remember ever giving a single thought to sitting down to have turkey and dressing with the family until days, even weeks, after the last Thin Mints were history.

We’d probably even eaten the jellybeans by then.

(Oh we complained on Halloween night about the raw deal of getting jellybeans instead of chocolate from some people, but by mid November, sugar is sugar. Any old port in a storm, you know)

Then came the construction paper turkeys and thoughts of having to endure the cranberries to enjoy the cool whip.

And, of course, so it went…Thanksgiving spent its time with us before giving way to the twelve days of Christmas, followed by Auld Lang Syne and then Valentine’s Day, moving through St Paddy’s Day, Easter and then, of course, the home stretch toward the finish line.

Summer vacation.

Those years were magical for a number of reasons.

Not the least of which was that they were Biblical.

Ecclesiastes.

To every thing, there is a season.

Well, okay, to you sixties heathens, that would be The Byrds.

But you get my drift.

Every thing had its season. And every season had its allotted time.

We didn’t think about Thanksgiving in September and we didn’t worry while we were trick or treating about what we were gonna get our sister for Christmas without having to spend any of our own money. (wait! Jelly beans!)

God knows we didn’t have to navigate through the Christmas Shop at Sears before the Thin Mints were all gone.

Every thing had its season.

And every season had its allotted time.

And so the year ran along in “real time”.

Twelve months.
365 days.

Which brings me around to my original point.

Another reason we feel like we’re getting older.

Because the sands are no longer simply moving through the hourglass.

They’re pouring.

Not really.

Feels like it though, doesn’t it?

When I was in the second grade, the presidential election campaign began “officially” on the Labor Day weekend

We’re still two or more months away from the major party political conventions.

And the two candidates have already been chosen and the “general election” campaign is underway.

No wonder we feel like time is flying.

It’s only June.
But it feels like September.

And, oh my god…..
I haven’t gotten anything for Aunt Bernice yet.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

"Shooting From The Hip is More Effective When You're Not Shooting Blanks....

My girlfriend is fearless.

She has known me for three or four months, which is usually plenty to get the lay of the land when it comes to my single mindedness about certain things and, being the bright and intuitive person she is, all that she has learned about me would, were she anyone else, inhibit her from putting Ann Coulter in front of me.

Like I said, though, she’s fearless.

My girlfriend.

Not Coulter.

Coulter is still a moron.

I just got this from G in my email.

And my two cents is sprinkled in italics here and there….



Bush's America: 100 Percent Al-Qaida Free Since 2001
by Ann Coulter

In a conversation recently, I mentioned as an aside what a great president George Bush has been and my friend was surprised. I was surprised that he was surprised.


And who among us is surprised that Ann is surprised, even though Bush is now the lowest rated President in the history of the United States of America with an approval rating of less than thirty percent? Does that mean that over 70 percent of Americans are liberal Democrats? If that’s the case, then Obama shouldn’t even bother to campaign, cause the job is a lock.

I generally don't write columns about the manifestly obvious, but, yes, the man responsible for keeping Americans safe from another terrorist attack on American soil for nearly seven years now will go down in history as one of America's greatest presidents.

Produce one person who believed, on Sept. 12, 2001, that there would not be another attack for seven years, and I'll consider downgrading Bush from "Great" to "Really Good."

Seems to me that I remember reading that the 9/11 attacks were in the planning stages for six or seven years before they were carried out. So while Bush gets credit for being on the bridge during these past seven years, the case could easily be made that it’s less about his decisive leadership than it is his pure dumb luck. The words Florida and chads come to mind.

Merely taking out Saddam Hussein and his winsome sons Uday and Qusay (Hussein family slogan: "We're the Rape Room People!") constitutes a greater humanitarian accomplishment than anything Bill Clinton ever did -- and I'm including remembering Monica's name on the sixth sexual encounter.

But unlike liberals, who are so anxious to send American troops to Rwanda or Darfur, Republicans oppose deploying U.S. troops for purely humanitarian purposes. We invaded Iraq to protect America.

I’m not sure which is more annoying…the fact that this seems to be the best argument Coulter can come up with (and what a tired and unsubstantiated argument it is), but that any invading country could try and rationalize their actions the same way. Did Hitler think that he was invading Poland to protect Germany?

It is unquestionable that Bush has made this country safe by keeping Islamic lunatics pinned down fighting our troops in Iraq. In the past few years, our brave troops have killed more than 20,000 al-Qaida and other Islamic militants in Iraq alone. That's 20,000 terrorists who will never board a plane headed for JFK -- or a landmark building, for that matter.

We are, in fact, fighting them over there so we don't have to fight them at, say, the corner of 72nd and Columbus in Manhattan -- the mere mention of which never fails to enrage liberals, which is why you should say it as often as possible.

The Iraq war has been a stunning success. The Iraqi army is "standing up" (as they say), fat Muqtada al-Sadr --the Dr. Phil of Islamofascist radicalism -- has waddled off in retreat to Iran, and Sadr City and Basra are no longer war zones. Our servicemen must be baffled by the constant nay-saying coming from their own country.

Coulter obviously has no one in her family over there. I do. And he is a West Point graduate, an officer, a gentleman and committed to honor, duty, country and God…..and he tells me that many of “our servicemen” , far from baffled, are very specific in their feelings about how this “stunning success” of a war is being handled.

The Iraqis have a democracy -- a miracle on the order of flush toilets in that godforsaken region of the world. Despite its newness, Iraq's democracy appears to be no more dysfunctional than one that would condemn a man who has kept the nation safe for seven years while deifying a man who has accomplished absolutely nothing in his entire life except to give speeches about "change."

(Guess what Bill Clinton's campaign theme was in 1992? You are wrong if you guessed: "bringing dignity back to the White House." It was "change." In January 1992, James Carville told Steve Daley of The Chicago Tribune that it had gotten to the point that the press was complaining about Clinton's "constant talk of change.")

Monthly casualties in Iraq now come in slightly lower than a weekend with Anna Nicole Smith. According to a CNN report last week, for the entire month of May, there were only 19 troop deaths in Iraq. (Last year, five people on average were shot every day in Chicago.) With Iraqi deaths at an all-time low, Iraq is safer than Detroit -- although the Middle Eastern food is still better in Detroit.

The reason nobody really takes this non Bumstead blonde seriously is the way she shoots from the hip without ever bothering to make sure that she knows what she’s aiming at. Is the fact that Chicago and Detroit are more dangerous than Iraq really something that she wants to pin on George Bush? Last time I looked at the seal, it said “President of the United States of America”. And the last time I checked, Chicago and Detroit are cities inside states inside America. Which,, if I may be so bold, are the responsibility of…..wait for it….the President of the United States of America…..

Al-Qaida is virtually destroyed, surprising even the CIA. Two weeks ago, The Washington Post reported: "Less than a year after his agency warned of new threats from a resurgent al-Qaida, CIA Director Michael V. Hayden now portrays the terrorist movement as essentially defeated in Iraq and Saudi Arabia and on the defensive throughout much of the rest of the world, including in its presumed haven along the Afghanistan-Pakistan border."

It's almost as if there's been some sort of "surge" going on, as strange as that sounds.

Just this week, The New York Times reported that al-Qaida and other terrorist groups in Southeast Asia have all but disappeared, starved of money and support. The U.S. and Australia have been working closely with the Philippines, Malaysia and Indonesia, sending them counterterrorism equipment and personnel.

But no one notices when 9/11 doesn't happen. Indeed, if we had somehow stopped the 9/11 attack, we'd all be watching Mohammed Atta being interviewed on MSNBC, explaining his lawsuit against the Bush administration. Maureen Dowd would be writing columns describing Khalid Sheik Mohammed as a "wannabe" terrorist being treated like Genghis Khan by an excitable Bush administration.

We begin to forget what it was like to turn on the TV, see a tornado, a car chase or another Pamela Anderson marriage and think: Good -- another day without a terrorist attack.

Actually, I think people ARE aware that we have not been attacked by terrorists….unless, of course, you count the fact that with gasoline at four dollars a gallon and climbing, the financial existence, let alone the future, of millions of American families is being slowly but surely eroded…..You know, Annie, you might want to consider that there are all kinds of ways to attack this country. Like, say, getting the price of oil to the point that it shuts down our society from the inside out, as opposed to invading us from the outside in…..

But liberals have only blind hatred for Bush -- and for those brute American interrogators who do not supply extra helpings of béarnaise sauce to the little darlings at Guantanamo with sufficient alacrity.

And, with all due respect, Ms Coulter, you don’t do a damn thing to be a part of the solution by labeling people as liberals and then bitching about how much “they” hate Mr. Bush…or you, for that matter. I’m just thinking….isn’t the whole “lumping people into groups” thing, as in “liberals” and “conservatives” really just perpetuating the “them vs. us” mindset?.... an erudite way of saying “those people”….as in past usage “those Jews”….and “those blacks”, et al?

The sheer repetition of lies about Bush is wearing people down. There is not a liberal in this country worthy of kissing Bush's rear end, but the weakest members of the herd run from Bush. Compared to the lickspittles denying and attacking him, Bush is a moral giant -- if that's not damning with faint praise. John McCain should be so lucky as to be running for Bush's third term. Then he might have a chance.

Actually, AC, what’s wearying is listening to you prattle on about the virtues of a man who may, in fact, be a good, decent, moral man with the best of intentions but has proven, with seven plus years of opportunity, to be inept as an administrator. A massive home foreclosure crisis, no closer to energy independence than we were seven years ago, unemployment high and rising, environmental concerns either ignored or stalled and the best thing you have to offer as legacy is that Detroit and Chicago are more dangerous than Iraq. I’m sure that Mr. Bush is happy to have such a zealous supporter as your self. The problem with zealotry, I’d offer though, is that blind loyalty to one idea or one man puts an awful lot of eggs in one basket. And the picture of accomplishment and success that you so desperately want to paint of the Bush years simply doesn’t line up with what the very vast majority of Americans see. And jokes aside…we both know that 7 out of 10 Americans aren’t Democrats. So there must be more than a few of “those people” (conservative Republicans) who aren’t too crazy with the job your guy has done.



Admittedly, a guy who can hold his head high after such a disappointing tenure is certainly a man of convictions.

One might even say fearless.

But not as fearless as my girlfriend.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Every Now and Then...A Mouthpiece Works Better When It's Kept Shut


Shakespeare was a little harsh.

He suggested that the world would be a better place without attorneys.

"The first thing we do," said the character in Henry VI is "kill all the lawyers."

I disagree on a couple of levels.

First, my girlfriend is a lawyer.

And my world wouldn’t be better off without her by a long shot.

Second, lawyers are (sorry, G) a lot like insurance agents.

We want nothing to do with them whatsoever.

Until we need them.

Then, all is forgiven. Immediately.

So, I think it’s fair to say that it’s unfair to lump all lawyers into a group deserving our ridicule and/or scorn and/or disdain.

Let’s put all that hostility and contempt where it belongs

Politicians.

Oh…and the folks who offer us FREE things provided we pay the processing, shipping and handling fees.

And admit that lawyers deserve to be judged (pun unintended, but who am I to look a gift horse…), as we all wish to be judged, as individuals and in our individual circumstances.

Take a second to read this story and see if you can’t tell where I’m going with this.

NEW YORK (AP) -- A college student who branded a date's body with a scalding piece of metal as payback for never calling her after they had sex was sentenced to five years in prison Friday.
Kristina Caban, 23, had no comment as state Supreme Court Justice Michael Obus sentenced her for what he called a crime that was "not remotely justifiable."
Assistant District Attorney Nicole Blumberg told Obus that Caban was the "mastermind behind the plan" to sear the torso of Samir "Sammy" Sara, then 23, for having sex with her once in 2004 and never calling her again.
Caban enlisted new boyfriend Robert Testagrossa to help brand a four-inch-high "R" on Samir's abdomen in October 2006, the prosecutor said. She said Caban lured the former lover to a hotel room, where Testagrossa and another man grabbed him.
Blumberg said the men used a Taser to immobilize Sara in a room at the Chelsea Inn while Caban laughed at his distress and kicked him while he was down.
The branding "iron" was actually a length of metal wire fashioned into a "R" -- heated, and applied to Samir's torso, said Tracy Golden of the Manhattan district attorney's office. She said prosecutors did not know what the "R" stood for.
Caban and Testagrossa, 27, pleaded guilty to
assault in August 2007 in exchange for five-year sentences. Testagrossa was sentenced in February and Caban, a photography student, was allowed to graduate from the School of Visual Arts in Manhattan before going to prison.
Blumberg said the third assailant remains at large.
He said Sara will have a permanent, tragic memento of his encounter with Caban.
Caban's lawyer, James Friedman said, "She's a good kid, despite the picture painted of her, who exercised poor judgment and got herself into a bad situation. She is not the monster the prosecution made her out to be."

What’s my point?
Take your time.
Okay.
Time’s up.
Let’s revisit that last little legal lament.

“…..Caban's lawyer, James Friedman said, "She's a good kid, despite the picture painted of her, who exercised poor judgment and got herself into a bad situation. She is not the monster the prosecution made her out to be…..”

If, by “poor judgement”, the lawyer is talking about the girl having sex with a guy who was pretty likely loser material to begin with, then I think we can all agree with his point of view.

That goes for “bad situation”, as well.

If, on the other hand, the counselor defining the assault on a fellow human being with a branding iron as “poor judgement and a bad situation”, then I think we can all more easily begin to see this guy through Shakespeare’s eyes.

Obviously, we have no way of knowing whether the girl is a “good kid” or not.

I wont speak for you, but as a parent and grandparent, I would be inclined to have trouble seeing anybody capable of that kind of cruelty being given the “good kid” label to wear.

You know, like, “those boys….Eric and Dylan……they were really good kids who just exercised poor judgement and got themselves into a bad situation… taking out their frustrations by killing all those other good kids at Columbine….”

So, feel free to make up your own mind about whether this girl is a “good kid” or not.

But, based on what this lawyer said, I think we can all agree on one thing.
Shakespeare had it right at least some of the time

"Her Majesty's A Pretty Nice Girl.....But Her Highness Is A Pistol...."


Paul Simon said it best.

“I never worry / Why should I? / It’s all gonna fade”

Not only fade, but change, as well.

Check this story out from CNN.com

LONDON, England -- Britain's Princess Eugenie has been reprimanded by her school after being caught frolicking naked on college grounds, it was reported Saturday.


The 18-year-old daughter of Prince Andrew, Duke of York, and Sarah Ferguson, was apprehended for her involvement in end of term "high jinks" at the exclusive Marlborough College, west of London, the UK Press Associated said.


A royal source told the Press Association: "It was nothing more than high jinks at the end of term in May. A group of them were reprimanded and that's the end of the matter."


The tabloid Sun newspaper reported that a college staff member was woken by playful shrieks and found several young women dancing around without clothes.
It said there was no suggestion boys were present or that drugs were involved but claimed a pupil said the students had been drinking.


Princess Eugenie, the sixth in line to the British throne, is studying art, history of art and English at the $46,000-a-year college, PA said.

I love this story on several levels.

First (and let’s just get it out of the way), I’m a man, so I naturally gravitate towards pretty much anything that involves naked women.

Second, I love England. Only the British can still use the word “frolick” and not make it sound like they’re trapped inside Mr. Peabody and Sherman’s Wayback Machine.

But, third, and most delightful, no matter how much tradition tries to hang on like grim death to “traditional” ways, young people put affectionate dents in tradition without damaging or destroying the foundations.

As in, can you imagine for a single second, Prince Charles “frolicking?”
Let alone naked?

And don’t even bother thinking about the Queen that way.

I mean, come on.
And..ewwwwww.

But, clearly, Eugenie has, in one glorious moment of free spiritedness, dropkicked the monarchy right out of the dark ages and into the new millennium (and a mere eight years into it, to boot.)

Stuffy, prim, proper, yawn snooze boring until you want to scream (and let’s face it, ultimately hypocritical) royal behavior is officially put on notice.

And the young princess couldn’t have picked a better method if she had meant to.

Because naked is not only fun (come on, admit it….)

But it very clearly makes it obvious that something is missing from this member of the royal family.

That stick they all seem to have up their butts.

"It's An Old Story....."


You should probably have some kind of answer ready and waiting.

Because, sooner or later, if it hasn’t already happened to you, someone is going to ask the question.

How does it feel to get old?

I first heard it around the time I turned fifty.

And it was asked more as a curiosity at the time, as opposed to being any kind of impugning of my ever-increasing chronological resume.

Age, like death, is just one of those things in life that both frighten and fascinate us.
Death, of the two, of course, removing any further need to worry about getting older.

Far as I know.

The spiritual jury is still out on that one.

What I discovered, the first time the question was asked of me, was that I was a little surprised.

First, I realized that I hadn’t really thought about it all that much.

We all get older, but we notice it more in the people around us as opposed to the face in the mirror.

What a piece of work we are, able to dream of the future, be in the now and live in denial all at the same time.

Even when the inevitability of age and the certainty of death come at us suddenly, we manage to kick the hockey puck of our lives right back into play with an instinct that would do Darwin proud.

For example, Tim Russert, the NBC news guy died yesterday.
Heart attack.

He was only 58 (“only”, of course, used in the context of this amusing belief we all cling to that our contracts guarantee us a minimum number of years here on the mortal coil)

And most of us who are aware of who Tim Russert were taken aback at the suddenness of his demise, faced our own mortality for a couple of hours.

And then resumed our concern about how we’re going to be able to afford four dollars a gallon for gasoline without having to give up those impulsive trips to the Safeway to pick up that Hagen Daas we forgot to buy during our weekly grocery chores.

Ob la di, ob la da.
Life goes on…brah.

I can honestly tell you that while my heart really did go out to the Russert family, his passing didn’t really make me feel older.

Again, I’m sure, because there is no set age for death.

So, I have to just assume that Tim simply came to the last page of his chapter in that mystical, yet often misunderstood, best seller…

“God’s Mysterious Plan”.

Meanwhile, back to the question, how does it feel to get old?

As for me, all I can offer is you that, first, it doesn’t FEEL like anything.

Aches and pains, of one sort or another, are around all of our lives.
And gray hair is often found in very young children.
And pot bellies and droopy boobs appear all over the generational spectrum.

What I can tell you is that getting older isn’t so much a matter of feeling things as it is a matter of realizing things.

Like…Ringo Starr will be 68 next month.
What?

Paul Newman is 82?
Are you kidding?

And there’s one other thing you realize, when you realize that you are getting older.

That you are, despite your best promise and effort to avoid, becoming your father or your mother.

Been happening to me now for awhile.

Since about the time I turned fifty.

Here’s today’s example.

Susan Atkins, one of Manson’s “girls” who has been in prison for forty years for killing Sharon Tate and those other folks, has terminal cancer and has asked to be released from prison.

If you had asked me what I thought about it before I became my father, I would have likely pondered and reflected and even shared some bleeding heart bullshit about forgiveness, et al.

Now?
Not so much.

She killed people viciously.

And God knows that Susan is in prison for that crime and that she has terminal cancer.

And it appears, for the moment, that the aforementioned mysterious plan is for Atkins to die in prison.

Before I got older, I would have been inclined to question said plan.

At this point in my life, I’m less inclined to intercede.

I find myself less a crusader and more a believer in God.

Oh…and Marge Simpson.

Who said, “kill ‘em all…and let God sort it out”.

And I really do judge not, lest I be judged.

I just realize that I’m a little older.
And a little wiser.

Friday, June 6, 2008

Five Celebs Who Got Their Thunder Stolen.....Well, Okay...Six.....


Life, John Lennon is quoted as having said, is what happens to you while you’re making other plans.

Frankly, that sounds a little Hallmark Cardy to have originated with John.

But, the point is well taken, no matter the source. As in the case of these folks (thanks to our friends at Mental Floss.com) who saw their plans for stardom usurped.


1. The Fonz Upstages Opie

The idea for a sitcom set in the 1950s was inspired by a vignette on the 1970s anthology series Love, American Style. One year after “Love and the Happy Days” aired, Ron Howard starred in the blockbuster film American Graffiti, which solidified his ability to play a retro-teenager. Howard had previously played “Opie” on The Andy Griffith Show, and with his recent film triumph under his belt, it was clear that he was the intended star of Happy Days. But the producers were caught by surprise when Fonzie, portrayed by Henry Winkler, who was only an occasional character during the first season started getting a substantial amount of press. Suddenly “Ayyyy” was on everyone’s lips and you couldn’t walk past a storefront without seeing some sort of Fonz replica giving the ol’ thumbs up. The ABC brass even suggested changing the name of the show to Fonzie’s Happy Days, but Henry Winkler himself vehemently opposed such a change. In fact, Henry has always staunchly credited the success of Happy Days to the work of entire cast, particularly Ron Howard and Tom Bosley.

2. Alex P. Keaton’s Hostile Takeover

When Gary David Goldberg was casting Family Ties, a sitcom about liberal 60s-era parents raising 80s-era children, he envisioned Matthew Broderick for the role of Alex P. Keaton. But Broderick didn’t want to leave New York for a long-term project, so Goldberg was left at square one. At the urging of a casting director, he gave a young Canadian actor named Michael J. Fox a second screen test, and reluctantly hired him (his infamous comment at the time about Fox was “There’s a face you’ll never see on a lunch box.”) Much to everyone’s surprise, Michael J. Fox had that on-screen charisma that quickly made him an audience favorite; he could deliver the most extreme right-wing political rhetoric and make it palatable because he was so darned cute. Meredith Baxter-Birney was miffed, because her understanding when she signed on for Family Ties was that the parents would be the focus of the series. But teen magazine profiles and posters can have a unique impact on a celebrity’s “Q-factor,” and soon many of the show’s plots revolved around Alex. During the taping of the episode where Alex lost his virginity, the audience’s laughter went on so long that the show ran 12 minutes overtime. Goldberg was standing backstage with Baxter-Birney at the time and commented, “If you want to leave the show, I’ll understand.”

3. Jack Tripper Gets Bested by a Blonde

When Three’s Company was being cast, John Ritter was the only actor hired who any sort of name recognition, having played the Reverend Fordwick on The Waltons. Luckily, he also had a knack for slapstick comedy, and managed to make the most out of what was basically a one-joke role (a closet heterosexual living platonically with two beautiful young women). But even though Ritter was the acknowledged star of the show (and won an Emmy Award for his portrayal of Jack Tripper), it was Suzanne Somers who got her picture on all the magazine covers and had her own mega-selling poster. Actually, as soon as Somers landed the role of Chrissy, she contacted powerhouse manager Jay Bernstein and begged him to take her on as a client. She wanted to be “bigger than Farrah,” and although (according to Somers) Bernstein questioned her looks and her talent, he was impressed by her passion, and agreed to manage her. Of course, it probably helped that Somers also pledged to give him every penny of her salary from the first six episodes of Three’s Company. Nevertheless, thanks to Bernstein’s savvy promotion, soon every episode of Three’s Company, no matter what the plot, focused heavily on Chrissy prancing around in tight T-shirts and short-shorts.

4. Yes, Urkel Did That

Family Matters was officially a spin-off of Perfect Strangers (Harriette Winslow was the elevator operator at the Chicago Chronicle). The show was supposed to focus on the everyday trials and tribulations of a department store employee, her police officer husband, and their three children. Midway through Season One, their nerdy neighbor Steve Urkel (portrayed by Jaleel White) appeared, oversized glasses, suspenders, high-rise pants, squeaky voice and all. Urkel was originally intended as a one-episode character, but after White’s initial appearance, studio audiences started chanting “Urkel! Urkel!” during subsequent tapings. Several first-season episodes were hastily re-written in order to feature the whiny-voiced, clumsy character. Interestingly enough, Jaleel White had been acting (mostly in commercials) since the age of three, and just prior to being cast as Urkel had told his mother that he wanted to quit the business in order to play JV basketball when he entered high school the next fall.

5. Mr. Kotter’s Lukewarm Welcome (in comparison to John Travolta)

Veteran comic writer Alan Sacks had seen stand-up comic Gabe Kaplan’s act a few times and thought that there might be a viable sitcom to be mined out of Kaplan’s tales of his days in remedial high school classes. When previewing Welcome Back, Kotter in front of test audiences, network brass noted that John Travolta (whose character was then known as “Eddie Barbarina”) elicited unsolicited random squeals from the crowd and decided on the strength of a possible teen heartthrob plus Kaplan’s jokes to green light the series. Travolta, for his part, didn’t discourage the Tiger Beat aspect of his fame, but he also craved acceptance as a bona fide actor, and he spent much of his Kotter salary on a high-priced agent, who landed him progressively larger film roles, from The Boy in the Plastic Bubble, to Carrie, to Saturday Night Fever. By the fourth (and ultimately final) season of Welcome Back, Kotter, John Travolta was billed as a “special guest star” and appeared in less than half of that season’s episodes.

Fun stuff, huh?

I thought it would be fun to jump off the political bandwagon for a spell.

Except it’s too hard to resist mentioning that there is one other superstar who thought they were going to be the star of the show, only to find that an interloper was waiting in the woods to steal the thunder.

Opie, Elyse Keaton, Jack, Chicago family and Mr. Kotter.....
Meet Hillary.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

"Obama/Clinton 2008.......Trust Me....It Aint Gonna Happen...."


….and though I have absolutely no professional political credentials, here’s why it wont happen.

Obama doesn’t want it to happen.

And he’s got the golden rule on his side.

He who has the gold…
…makes the rules.

And admittedly, the whole idea that eighteen million people voted for Hillary in the primaries, eighteen million people who will be pissed if Hillary doesn’t get the VP nod makes for good copy and gives the cable news channels raw material to ramble on ad nauseum, those who subscribe to the idea aren’t seeing one pretty obvious flaw in their logic.

It’s like the old Marilyn Monroe joke.

God is love.
Love is beautiful.
Marilyn Monroe is beautiful.
Marilyn Monroe is God.

Actually, no, not so much.

The flaw in the logic is the assumption that if Hillary isn’t given the VP slot her supporters will turn, en masse, and vote for John McCain.

Actually, no, not so much.

I don’t think anybody has any real way of guaranteeing that all eighteen million will vote for Obama, but I’d be willing to bet my ever shrinking dollar that a big fat ole bunch of em will.

Supporters of Hillary who vote for McCain because they’re pissed that Obama got the nomination are, at the end of the day, cutting off their Hillary to spite their Barack.

And, if you buy what the pundits are saying, pretty much assuring that George W. Bush will be elected to a third term.

Except that for the next four years, the role of George W. Bush will be played by his understudy, John McCain.

I think it safe to say that none of us have seen anything that makes us believe that Clinton supporters are stupid.

And wouldn’t it really be stupid if supporters of Han Solo got pissed that Luke Skywalker didn’t get the nomination and showed their unhappiness by voting for Darth Vader?

Honest to God, I really don’t know a lot of the insider political lingo, but here’s how I would sum up that scenario.

Duh.

So, if you like winning guessing games, my advice is to scratch Hillary off your list.

Because, at the very least, those Hillary zealots who believe in their hearts and souls that the young, inexperienced Obama doesn’t stand a chance against the senior, more experienced McCain without Hillary in the number two chair are making a mistake that has been made more than once in this campaign already.

Underestimating Barack Obama.

And if anyone should understand that concept, it should be Hillary’s folks.

Cause it turns out that the most prominent person to first underestimate Barack Obama…

…was Hillary Clinton.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

"I Do Solemnly Smirk...."


At this point in the history of it all, I really don’t expect you to believe me.

But, I’ve known who these two guys really are for years now.

And the only reason that I haven’t mentioned it in this forum up until now is my “evidence to the contrary” belief that, in the end, they would show themselves to be worthy of the trust and hope we invested in them a few years back.

Well, the Supreme Court told us we had to invest that trust and hope, but I digress.
In the beginning, I only suspected that they were not all they appeared to be.

That they were, actually, less.

Turns out I was wrong.

They’ve turned out to be even less than that.

And if their public behavior and performances weren’t enough to convince me, let alone you, who they were behind the façade, then surely the trademark sounds they made day in, year out were a dead giveaway.

You know the sounds I’m talking about.

Those annoying little giggles that don’t quite translate on paper but actually do sound pretty much like they look.

Heh-heh.
And…hee hee.

And now you know who I’m talking about don’t you?

Because we’ve been watching them for years on TV and putting up with their supposedly clever comments and those annoying giggles that go with them.

And they were each equally guilty of inflicting those lines on us followed by the smug smirky chuckles….

"More and more of our imports come from overseas."

Heh-heh.

"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test."

Hee-hee.

"There's an old saying in Tennessee - I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee - that says, fool me once, shame on - shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again."

Heh-heh.

" "Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"

Hee-hee.

Oh..and let’s not forget the bonged out sidekick, while we’re at it..

"the people of Peru deserve better" (when referring to Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez)

Hee-hee.

And this, just yesterday.

"So, I had Cheneys on both sides of the family — and we don't even live in West Virginia,"

Heh-heh.

Wait a second. It just occurred to me that I might have confused you just a little.

I realize that you may be thinking that I’m talking about Beavis and Butthead.

My bad.

But a perfectly understandable confusion.

Since experiencing almost eight years of these two smug, self serving “servants of the American people” has blurred the line between cartoon and reality.

And come January, I have a feeling that most of us, regardless of our personal political preferences, will be delighted to find that we have a President and Vice President who will really work to make our lives better and safer without giving us the feeling that they’re doing us a favor by bothering to try.

And that if we find ourselves laughing, it will be with them as we experience joy and celebration as they go about getting the country moving forward in a positive direction.

Not laughing at them because of their stupid jokes.

Or their stupidity.

Or their smug, callous disregard for those Americans who weren’t born with silver spoons.

Given the legacy these two cartoon characters are leaving us, my guess would be that there’s a pretty good chance, this time around, that even Beavis and Butthead would take them in the popular vote.

Heh-heh.

Barack, Hillary and John are the LEAST of Our Problems.....


It was only a matter of time…..


This just in…..


A Message from British comedian John Cleese - -- to the citizens of the United States of America:


In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competentcandidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, wehereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.


Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).


Your new Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a Governor forAmerica without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.


To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the followingrules are introduced with immediate effect:


1. You should look up ‘revocation’ in the Oxford English Dictionary.


2. Then look up aluminium, and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.


3. The letter ‘U’ will be reinstated in words such as 'colour', 'favour'and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell ‘doughnut’ withoutskipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise'. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').


4. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noisessuch as 'like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and theelimination of -ize.


5. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.


6. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns,lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers andtherapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Gunsshould only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sortthings out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.


7. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anythingmore dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.


8. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you willstart driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, youwill go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit ofconversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help youunderstand the British sense of humour


9. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) -- roughly $8/US gallon. Get used to it.


10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.


11. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting Nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.


12. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors asgood guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors toplay English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt Englishdialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.


13. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty Seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies). Don't try Rugby - the South Africans and Kiwis will thrash you, like theyregularly thrash us.


14. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable tohost an event called the World Series for a game which is not playedoutside of America . Since only 21% of you are aware that there is aworld beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.


15. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.


16. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty'sGovernment will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of allmonies due (backdated to 1776).


17. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups, withsaucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.


God save the Queen.


Actually, according to the latest delegate numbers, she doesn’t really have a chance.


Oh….the BRITISH queen…..


Sorry..chaps....

Sunday, June 1, 2008

"Better To Be Quiet and Have People THINK You're A Fool....."


There are a lot of things that make America unique.

One is the amount of importance we give the opinions of celebrities.

And I’m not necessarily talking about the famous and near famous endorsing this or that political candidate, a subject that I’ve already rambled on about in past pieces.

I’m talking about the amount of importance we give to the opinions of celebrities on any and all subjects.

Please turn your hymnals to page sixty-one as we share together…
The Ballad of Sharon Stone.

(CNN) -- Actress Sharon Stone said in a statement Saturday that she "could not be more regretful" of her comments this month regarding the earthquake in China, in which she suggested that the quake was an act of "karma."


"Yes, I misspoke," said the statement released by Stone's publicist and entitled "In my own words by Sharon Stone."


"I could not be more regretful of that mistake. It was unintentional. I apologize. Those words were never meant to be hurtful to anyone," Stone said. "They were an accident of my distraction and a product of news sensationalism."

Okay, this isn’t gonna take long.

First, at the end of the day, does anyone really care what a marginally successful movie actress thinks about world affairs?

I don’t.

At least not any more than I care about the opinion of the local dry cleaner or the kid behind the counter at Starbucks.

Or you.

Every one is, after all, entitled to their opinion.

Although every time a celebrity is quoted about this world event or that, I’m tempted to let my father’s voice come flying out of my mouth.

“If I want your opinion….I’ll give it to you.”

More insidious, though, than the amount of ink that this little tempest in a Chinese teapot is generating (yes, including this piece) is the little “aint that always the way” that gets thrown in.

“……..Those words were never meant to be hurtful to anyone," Stone said. "They were an accident of my distraction and a product of news sensationalism."….

So, let us sum it up short and sweet.

Not only does she does speak about world affairs in a public forum with a resume that easily qualifies her as an expert on the subject, assuming that world affair expertise is the natural result of making a lot of money with a marginal talent and one fairly big hit movie out of a couple dozen shots at it.

But, she cant even take the responsibility for putting her foot in her very likely Botoxed mouth.
“..an accident of my distraction and a product of news sensationalism….”

Let me take a shot at translating that.

“I wasn’t really paying attention to what I was saying because I’m pretty much clueless about anything outside the three mile zone and the news media, sensing my lack of savvy, made a really, like, big deal out of, like, nothing….”

Don’t misunderstand me, kids.

I’m down with listening to perspectives of people whose background, education and life’s work make them legitimate experts on any given subject.

And Sharon Stone, while not fitting that criteria, is, as a citizen of the good old US of A, totally entitled to her opinion.

I just don’t really want to have my world event informational flow muddied up by actors who confuse the ability to pretend for an audience that they are someone important with actually BEING someone important.

Celebrity is fame escalated to a certain degree.
It is not the awarding of a degree.

Sharon’s one big movie testified to her reluctance to keep her legs shut.

It’s unfortunate that same reluctance apparently applies to her mouth, as well.