When it comes to eloquent observations about the failings of human beings, you can have your Shakespeare and your Mark Twain and even your Dorothy Parker (although, for my money, nobody has ever topped Parker’s line about “talent”….”it ran the gamut of emotions from A…to B”)
For spot on perspective about our flaws, I’m going to go with Johnny Carson and Dr. Gregory House.
Stand by.
Couple of news items caught my blood shot eye online this morning.
BRUSSELS, Belgium (AP) -- A Belgian writer has admitted that she made up her best-selling "memoir" depicting how, as a Jewish child, she lived with a pack of wolves in the woods during the Holocaust, her lawyers said Friday.
Misha Defonseca's book, "Misha: A Memoire of the Holocaust Years," was translated into 18 languages and made into a feature film in France.
"I ask forgiveness to all who felt betrayed," Defonseca said, according to a written statement the lawyers gave to The Associated Press.
In the statement, Defonseca acknowledged the story she wrote was a fantasy and that she never fled her home in Brussels during the war to find her parents.
Defonseca says her real name is Monique De Wael and that her parents were arrested and killed by Nazis as Belgian resistance fighters, the statement said.
"This story is mine. It is not actually reality, but my reality, my way of surviving," the statement said.
"I ask forgiveness to all who felt betrayed. I beg you to put yourself in my place, of a 4-year-old girl who was very lost," the statement said.
I no sooner had the first “tsk” of the inevitable “tsk, tsk” formed on my lips when I came across this little “confession”.
New York -- Robert Irvine, host of the popular Food Network series "Dinner Impossible," has lost his job following allegations that he padded his resume.
Irvine had claimed that he helped design Princess Diana's wedding cake, worked at the White House and graduated from the University of Leeds. But an article was published in the St. Petersburg Times last week that cast doubt on his claims.
On Friday, the Food Network announced they were not renewing his contract with the show, and released the following statement:
"We looked into the situation and found that, as Robert has already admitted, there were some embellishments and inaccuracies in his resume. The few and minor incidents of the inclusion of these embellishments into 'Dinner Impossible' have been removed.
At the same time, the network also released a statement from Irvine, who expressed remorse for his actions:
”I was wrong to exaggerate in statements related to my experiences in the White House and the Royal Family. I am proud of my work as part of the Guest Chef program in the White House, the opportunities I had on the Royal Yacht Britannia and my culinary accomplishments, and I should have stood on those alone, without embellishment.
I remain committed and enthusiastic about my work with Food Network and other future endeavors. I am truly sorry for misleading people and misstating the facts. To all my family, friends and loyal fans, I will work tirelessly to regain your trust and continue to use my show and life to benefit the less fortunate."
Okay.
Now, in spite of your suspicions (or fears, as the case may be) that I’m going to launch into some treatise about the inherent cracks in the mortar of our moral fiber, all I really want to do here is address a couple of fun, if also sad, facts and then wrap it up so you can move on to You Tube.
You see? I don’t really think so much of myself that I imagine you don’t have better things to do online than read and re-read every word I offer.
Don’t mention it.
First ...the lady who made up the wolf story admits her deception, then asks for forgiveness with that “awwww flavored “ plea that we “ put yourself in my place, of a 4-year-old girl who was very lost."
Well, I’ll tell you there, wolf lady, I cant speak for anybody else, but I think I would be a whole lot more inclined to throw you the sympathy bone if you had written the thing when you were four years old. But, given that you were a grown up who apparently had full faculties and use of them, I’m gonna take a pass on that request for clemency.
Second…I have to admit to letting a cynical chuckle escape from my coffee warmed lips when I got to the end of the piece about Chef BoyArYou Busted…. “…I will work tirelessly to regain your trust and continue to use my show and life to benefit the less fortunate…."
Uh. Okay. Does this mean that you will be doing penance by providing local homeless shelters with your scrumptious crab cakes?
Puhleeeze.
Look. I’m as failed and flawed as the next guy (and apparently, to some folks lately, even more so), but I still cling proudly to believing that when I’m wrong, I’m wrong and that when I say “I’m sorry, I let you down and I ask you to forgive me”, that there’s no “but” needed or wanted after the end of that sentence.
“I lied…BUT I was traumatized as a child, so made up a multimillion dollar story fifty years later…”
“I lied…BUT I’m really a good guy who wasn’t satisfied with a nationally broadcast television show and had to pretend that just working IN the White House wasn’t enough to impress anybody”
“I lied…BUT….”
No.
No “BUTS”.
Just “I lied”.
Gets into that whole thing about that word that my friend Anne calls the new dirtiest word.
Responsibility.
And, turnabout being fair play, we could just as easily return fire.
“Well, I’d forgive you…BUT…you wont just admit you lied and take responsibility for it.”
I think the sadness hidden in between the lines of these stories and others like them, is the sadness of realizing that honesty isn’t a preventative anymore.
It’s an antidote.
No buts about it.
Oh…and that thing about Johnny Carson and House having the last, best words?
Years before The Tonight Show, Johnny hosted a very popular game show.
“Who Do You Trust?”
And House?
His mantra, sadly, seems to slowly but surely, be headed toward becoming our mantra.
“Everybody lies”.
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