Okay, So They Snickered....But, Did They Give Her Piercing Looks ?

I have to admit that I’ve had a lot of interesting jobs.

Interesting, of course, being a relative word. But, given that many people live out their entire professional lives at “normal” occupations like accountant or doctor or salesperson, I think I’m not exaggerating to say that my work choices have been “interesting.”

I have written songs that have appeared on Grammy nominated albums.

I have performed live on stage with famous people like Dobie Gray, the “Drift Away” hitmaker.

I once drove from Nashville to the Jack Daniels Distillery in Lynchberg, Tennessee, nailing little blue arrows to trees so that Honda dealers who were having a convention in Music City would be able to find their way down to the home of sour mash and back again on a little Honda sponsored tour/road trip.

I did a recording session once that featured Joe English, of Paul McCartney and Wings as our drummer.

I have written freelance articles for numerous music biz publications.

And, although it doesn’t really qualify as a job (translation: I don’t get paid), I have, for the past several months been offering my collected thoughts and ramblings right here in this venue.

All pretty interesting occupations by conventional standards.

But, I gotta tell ya, I just realized today that I missed a pretty sweet opportunity for adding to the eclectic list of past lives that is my resume’ by not having gone after a certain writing job in Washington DC.

More about that in a minute.
First, let’s talk about nipples.

Here’s the story from CNN.com

LOS ANGELES, California (CNN) -- The Transportation Security Administration said Friday its officers at a Texas airport appear to have properly followed procedures when they allegedly forced a woman to remove her nipple rings -- one with pliers -- but acknowledged the procedures should be changed.
The woman involved -- Mandi Hamlin -- told reporters earlier Friday she was humiliated by last month's incident, in which she was forced to painfully remove the piercings behind a curtain as she heard snickers from male TSA officers nearby. The incident occurred at the Lubbock, Texas, airport.
The officers "rightly insisted that the alarm that was raised be resolved," the TSA said in a statement posted on its Web site Friday afternoon. "TSA supports the thoroughness of the officers involved as they were acting to protect the passengers and crews of the flights departing Lubbock that day."
However, "TSA has reviewed the procedures themselves and agrees that they need to be changed," the statement said. "In the future, TSA will inform passengers that they have the option to resolve the alarm through a visual inspection of the article in lieu of removing the item in question."
Hamlin and her lawyer, celebrity attorney Gloria Allred, said they want a public apology from the agency, as well as a guarantee that future passengers with piercings will be treated with dignity and respect.
Allred pointed out that TSA's Web site says passengers with piercings can undergo a pat-down inspection if they do not want to take their piercings out -- an option she said Hamlin was never offered.
"The conduct of TSA was cruel and unnecessary," Allred told reporters at a news conference. "Last time that I checked, a nipple was not a dangerous weapon."

Okey dokey.

Like I said, I’ve done some pretty diverse and interesting things with my writing through the years, but how much fun must it be to have a government job that charges you with the responsibility of writing policy that dictates the proper procedure for the safe transportation of nipple rings?

Can you imagine the brainstorming meetings?

And how about the committee discussions?

Not to mention the benefit package and 401K that government employees have access to.
I’m not sure that anything I have ever done even compares with the kick that gig must be.

You know, tit for tat.

I might have to look into Federal job opportunities in my twilight working years.

Oh…and regarding what Gloria Allred said about a nipple not being a dangerous weapon?

Obviously she’s never been within five feet of Pamela Anderson on a chilly, breezy day.