Noun:
A figure of speech in which apparently contradictory terms appear in conjunction (e.g., faith unfaithful kept him falsely true).
Military intelligence.
Jumbo shrimp.
Free gift.
Facebook friend.
For not the first, nor, I'm sure, the last time, I've inadvertently pau de deux'd myself into a faux pas regarding the "policy" Facebook has when it comes to sending friend requests.
Here's my petulant pau de problem with their policy of preemption.
First, I was simply scrolling, innocently and innocuously through the list of "People You May Know" that Zuckerberg's zone of social zeitgeist, itself, zapped up on my page. It's not like I was hanging around the status update bar waiting for chicks I could hit on to come wandering by.
Second, the "policy" seems (and this isn't my first rodeo with this issue) contraindicated on a "social networking" site. Isn't one primary facet of social networking in the "real world" getting about the business of meeting new people and/or potential new contacts and/or friends.
Hellloo. Markie Mark? Mingle. Ever heard of it? It's something people who interact with one another in ways other than typing on a keyboard/clicking a mouse somewhere other than their mother's basement do when they socialize.
I'm pretty sure that Zuckerberg and his gang of geek have never read, let alone grasped the concept of, "Catch-22" as evidenced by the fact that this friend policy apparently puts one and all into the position of being solicited, even encouraged, to make new friends, provided, of course, that any new friends you wish to make are friends you already have.
Third, I'm not sure whether to chuckle good naturedly or change my name and move to another town to avoid the shame and embarrassment of having people find out that my "friend request privileges" have been "suspended for two days" because I "apparently sent friend requests to people with whom I do not have a sufficient number of friends in common" to justify having sent said friend requests.
Ostensibly, the purpose of the policy is to protect the populace from "abuse", whatever that means and/or however that is defined on planet Facebook.
Gotta tell ya, though, while I'm totally down with bouncing people's sorry asses off the site should they send inappropriate, offensive, profane, et al messages, pictures, et al to other Faces, I'm having a hard time getting my head around the logic behind "hi, nice to meet you...would you like to be added to my list?" being perceived as a threat to anybody.
Can't help but be reminded of a favorite theological perspective.
You can ask God for anything.
Anything.
Because God can always just say no.
Facebook actually provides a similar option for people who receive "friend requests" from people they're not interested in adding to their list.
It's called delete.
So, paraphrasing a poignant old saying, to all those folks who aren't strangers, just friends I haven't met yet, I'm sorry that I won't have the opportunity to make your acquaintance.
Mark Zuckerberg won't let me meet you because you and I haven't already met.
And should you decide, in some moment of weakness, that you might like to meet me, you want to be sure that we've already met.
I don't want to be responsible for you having to spend two days in the penalty box.
No need to thank me.
That's what friends are for.
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