"...Apparently, The Criteria For Death Has Undergone Some Changes..."

First, the "fair is fair" disclaimer.

My own matrimonial house is, without question, made of glass.

And far be it for me to start throwing stones.

So, I'm not going to offer any criticism, observation, pontification or chastisement to anyone who decides that "til death do us part" is just a tad overly rigid in the scheme of all things pronounced man and wife.

Marry as often and for as long, or short, as you and/or your conscience dictate.

That said, though, I'd would like to offer the following proposal.

No pun intended but not strenuously avoided either.

Let's call it the two year rule.

Any celebrity who marries anyone for any reason at any time is perfectly within their rights to null the nuptials at any time for any reason without fear of reprisal, retribution or remorse.

Under the provisions of this suggested new rule, though, they may not, at any time for any reason under any circumstances announce said marriage to anyone at any time in any way that might make said announcement public to friends, family, fans, media outlets, social networks, press agents, talk show hosts, tabloid show hosts, potential reality show producers,potential literary agents, potential movie producers, passers-by, innocent bystanders or anyone outside what we will call "the circle of three."

The bride, the groom and the officiant.

Said "gag rule" will be in effect for a period of not less that twenty four calendar months, effective from either the "I now pronounce you" moment and/or the "you may now kiss the..." moment, whichever comes first.

If, at the end of the twenty four month period, the celebrity couple is still, both legally, literally, physically, spiritually and emotionally joined in holy matrimony, then, and only then, are they free to trumpet to friends, family, fans, media outlets, social networks, press agents, talk show hosts, tabloid show hosts, potential reality show producers,potential literary agents, potential movie producers, passers-by, innocent bystanders or anyone outside what we will call "the circle of three", the happy news of their oneness.

At the very least, this imposition of a two year minimum commitment before said commitment can be used for purposes of publicity, profit and/or career advancement and/or resurgence will, hopefully, restore, at least, an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot of reverence and respect to the hallowed and sacred institution of marriage.

And what the hell, maybe even turn the whole idea of staying together and working things out the "new" celebrity fad, as opposed to the apparent current fad of going for the "fewest days on record."

Or, dare we dream, inspire celebrities to stop using marriage as a means to divert the ever busy public eye in their direction?

Maybe not.

Start small, dream big I always say.

And, once again, I've made my share of marital mistakes.

Hell, I've made my share, your share and a couple of other guys' shares.

But, in fairness to me, all I was ever going after was happy ever after.

Not the cover of the next Entertainment Weekly.