Mark Twain.Will Rogers.
Dorothy Parker.
Bill Cosby.
Just a few of the folks who have ramped up the quality of our lives in the past hundred years, give or take, with their ability to infuse insight with humor, wisdom with wit.
A nutritious spoonful of sugar, so to speak.
There's another name I think deserves mention.
Dean Wormer.
For the beleagured head honcho of Faber University, in the must own film classic "Animal House", was never more spot on then when he spoke the immmortal phrase...
"Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son."
That flash of waxing both practical and poetic occurred to me today as I was reading a story about a young student being "bullied" by one of her teachers.
Or to be more precise...
Not reading a story about a young student being bullied by one of her teachers.
Explanation just ahead, but first....
Let's talk about fat.
Over the past couple of years, I have spent a fair amount of time on the air talking about the "epidemic" of obesity in America.
Not so much as a matter of heath as, hopefully, humor.
After all, my shows are more Dr. Demento than Dr. Phil.
And given that I just ended a two year stint in the southern U.S. state (jury is still out on that status, by the way) that leads the nation in both adult and child obesity, high blood pressure and heart disease, it seemed a no brainer to fire my witty weapon in that direction.
And give folks the skinny, as it were.
Arr-arr.
Boiled down to its simplest, though, the whole cause and effect thing shakes out this way.
People are getting fatter because they are eating more and doing less.
Kids are trans-fattingly replacing the playground with the Playstation.
And a lot of older folks think a treadmill is a factory where used tires are given a new life.
The end result, proved beyondashadowofadoubtingly, is a decline in physical wellness.
The lesson that seems to scream "obvious" while, at the same time, falling on deaf ears is that when we replace any kind of activity with inactivity, the result is inevitably atrophic.
Or as the less verbose, articulation challenged might offer....
Use it or lose it.
In this case, cholesterol 1, arteries nothing.
Now, it turns out, that the pattern, having done a pretty good job of corroding the physical , is turning its attention to the ultimate muscle.
No, not that muscle.
Perv.
The brain, baby, the brain.
The same technological advances that brought us the Wii and Playstation and subtly parked us in front of the tube instead of behind the bicycle handlebars are now offering us a source of entertainment, information and, yes, even instruction that, while ostensibly beneficial, could very likely turn out to be detrimental.
Video.
And lest I be charged with anachronism and my theories summarily dismissed, let me add that I enjoy You Tube as much as the next guy, know what embedding is and how to use it and appreciate having an easy and economical means of recording memorable life events for future generations to enjoy.
Though I'm pretty sure that my great grandkids will be as bored with watching the gray hairs flip flopping around Cozumel in 2009 as I was watching the gray hairs Bermuda shortsing around Yellowstone Park in 1959.
As with guns, drugs and the Kardashians social lives, my problem with video aint so much with the what it is as with the how its used.
And the slow but sure increase in the use of video taking the place of print in our world.
Which brings us back to the story I didn't read about the young student being bullied by one of her teachers.
Because I didn't read it.
I watched the video.
On a news website.
Where I can still, from time to time, enjoy one of life's more nourishing pursuits.
Reading.
Unfortunately, the opportunities seem to waning with each new cyber day.
More and more, the typography is being usurped by the videography.
And I'm not challenged to increase my ability to discern definition or ponder pronunciation.
I just looks at the picture and listens to the talkin'.
And in that same odd way that I just know I can hear my arteries clogging when I scarf down that taco bell grande while expertly juggling the Nintendo controller, I just know that I can hear my brain putting on a few pounds while I stare at the little screen, listen to the werdz....and....
....wotch the purdy piktures.....
Whoa.
Shake it off.
Note to self.
Pick up that attachable book stand for the treadmill on the way home tomorrow.
Because any expert will tell you that exercising both the body and the mind is key to quality of life.
I remember reading that somewhere.
And was so inspired by it that I went right out and bought the video.
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