Evidence to the contrary, I do pride myself on, at least, making the effort to be a man of few words.Or if not a few, then at least the fewest number that will do to express the thought and/or opinion at any given time.
In that spirit, I'm a big fan of those who have mastered the art of sharing deep insight in just a few carefully chosen words or phrases.
For example, some years ago, a reviewer summed up the very first Kirk/Spock/McCoy and company big screen opus this way:
"Star Trek...The Motionless Picture".
And while his singing chops are clearly a matter of personal taste, Bob Dylan, at his peak, could conjure up pages of emotions in single lyric lines.
For example:
"I wish that for just one time you could stand inside my shoes / then you'd know what a drag it is to see you..."
With this year's Academy Awared ritual looming, I found myself appreciating someone who was able to concisely wade through the sea of ink splashed on page after page in the cause of "predicting" who and for what, Oscar wise.
The articulate artist is a lady named Kate Torgovnick who writes for a fun Web site called The Frisky.
Here's how she sees the how the major awards will, and always do, shake out.
"...The Academy tends to be pretty predictable:
Best Actress generally goes to America's sweetheart (who later gets divorced);
Best Actor goes to the guy with the most previous nominations;
Best Supporting Actress goes to a breakout star;
and Best Supporting Actor goes to the creepy guy..."
Thank you ! And (four plus hours later...) good night!
The more vigilant among us will note that two major awards are left out of that list.
Best Director.
Best Picture.
Kate has a pretty witty theory about the Best Picture award in her article.
Check it out at your leisure.
Regarding the Director thing, though, I have my own theory.
Or opinion, to put the finer point on it.
They should do away with it.
And not because I think that film directors aren't more than deserving of recognition for their work.
Au contrare', mon mutual movie buff.
My "take" on it is that the award is, at best, disingenuous, at worst, absurd.
And the proof lurking in the pudding is the common sense answer to the following question.
How can a film be voted the very best picture of the entire year and the director of said film not be recognized as the best director of said film?
(HINT: If you're even a little perplexed, the key to the answer is the use of the word "director" in the question...)
Traditionally, the producers of the movie chosen best are the official recipients of the recognition and the sacred statuette.
The director might get to tag along on the walk of fame to the podium but, as in terms of individual acclaim, is left to fend for his or her self in their own category.
And to make matters worse, the Director award is handed out before the Picture award which, as we all know, is always the last, and supposedly most exciting and anticipated, award of the evening.
Or afternoon/evening/wee hours as is usually the case with this thing.
So year after year, too often, the director of the movie that gets chosen as Best Picture gets to tag along with the producers on the walk of fame to the podium and then stand there, best frozen "grateful" smile in place, listening to the producers drone on, while occasionally being distracted by the quick flash of glare coming from an Oscar being held in the audience.
In the lap of the winner of the Best Director award.
Producers are certainly key elements of any motion picture project.
But I think it not letting the cat out of the bag to divulge that their primary function, traditionally, is to secure funding and oversee the business side of the endeavor.
Creatively, the really smart producers know that they are about as needed or welcome as a backseat driver.
So giving the Best Picture award to the producers is not just a little like giving the Super Bowl trophy to the owner of the team instead of the coach whose direction got them there .
Oh. Wait. They do that, too.
Well, another blog, another day.
In the meantime, the Oscar fix requires only a clear grasp of the obvious.
Eliminate the Best Director category.
And the best director of the year is automatically the director of the film that is chosen Best Picture.
The director alone takes the walk of fame, graciously acknowledging the team that helped put it all together, but clearly accepting, and deserving, credit for being the captain on the bridge.
And the producers are free to be part of the post game pictures, celebrations, even ad nauseum TV tabloid interviews.
Hell, they can even touch the damn thing if they want.
Provided, of course, it's okay with the director.
After all, it's he or she who won it.
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