"Uptown Girl, She's Been Headed in A Downward Swirl..."

Hello, I'm Scott Edward Phelps.

Many of you know me from my radio shows, various and sundry websites, including, of course, several different blogsites where I offer my satirical, saucy and sassy assessement of life, love and pursuit of calorie free, heavily sugared dessert toppings,

Today,though, I'm just Scott Edward Phelps, everyman.

And I'd like to talk to you about something that touches all of our lives, each and every day.

Yes, I'm talking about Syndrome Syndrome.

No, not the impulsive behavior that manifests itself in the repeating of words.

That's Redundant Reduncancy.

Syndrome Syndrome...the creation of new syndromes from within the parameters of existing syndromes, thereby creating another syndrome which will, inevitably, spawn even more syndromes.

Please take just a moment and read the touching and brave story of one syndrome sufferer, celebrity by birth, Alexa Ray Joel.

(CNN) -- The end of 2009 was a "whirlwind" for Alexa Ray Joel, but she's stepping into 2010 with a new focus: Raising awareness about heartbreak-related depression.

"I have many exciting new developments for the New Year," Joel wrote on her Facebook page December 31. "Most importantly, [helping] young girls with something I feel I know a GREAT deal about: Heartbreak-Related Depression."

The EMS responded to a 911 call about Joel on December 5, and the 24-year-old songstress was rushed to the hospital after swallowing a handful of homeopathic pain pills, her publicist confirmed to CNN. The pills are not considered to be life threatening. The New York City, New York-based singer had been upset over her break-up with 38-year-old musician and former bandmate Jimmy Riot, according to the publicist.

Joel has decided to speak up about this cause and also return to school.

"Although it does not get much attention in our society, it is a very serious and painful condition that often gets 'swept under the carpet,' " she wrote on Facebook. "I hope to bring this topic more to light... I'm even going back to school for Psychology in hopes to learn more about this and many other afflictions that many of us have had to face."

For those who are struggling, Joel has offered suggestions such as finding a therapist, trying out intensive outpatient programs and, she wrote, "if you're still feeling blue," taking a hot bath with herbal salts to perk up.

"Thank you ALL for sharing your thoughts with me on heartbreak-related depression. It's a comfort to know that we're all in this together," Joel wrote on Sunday. "Let's all help to shed the light on [this]; it is a REAL & SERIOUS condition that affects millions, and it SHOULD get TREATED!!!"

As you can see from Alexa's heartfelt and brave sharing, Syndrome Syndrome can strike at any time, most often, and most tragically, without the sufferer even knowing that they have been afflicted.

In Alexa's case, though, the diagnosis is, thankfully, apparent.

What was, obviously and understandably, a very difficult time for her resulted in the onset of depression, a clincially recognized, and thankfully treatable, condition.

But, like so many victims of SS before her, Alexa didn't realize that the exposure to modern pop/medical culture and it's obsessive need to find a label for everything and everything with a label would cause that condition to mutate and depression became...

"Heart-break" depression.

Or HBD, as it will come to be known.

As opposed to, to mention a few...

DGTRD..."Didn't Get The Raise Depression"

GFOTHD..."Got Fat Over The Holidays Depression"

GUFOTHD..."Got UberFat Over The Holidays Depression"

CFTSTMTPD..."Can't Find the Shoes To Match The Purse Depression"

CCUWANFTDD..."Can't Come Up With Another Name For This Depression Depression"

and, probably the most painful and frightening of all...

OMGIJMCSD..."Oh My God, I Just Married Charlie Sheen Depression."

Luckily, there is hope and each day research is bringing us closer to finding the cure for Syndrome Syndrome, or as some experts privately call it, "the spin off syndrome".

As in, if depression were the Mary Tyler Moore Show, what Alexa Ray Joel has could rightly be called Rhoda.

Until that day, though, your support will help us find that cure and while I can't, legally, ask you to send me money, there are things you can do to help us put an end to this virtual virus in our culture.

Stop reading People Magazine.

Stop giving a shit about who Jon Gosselin is dating.

Stop getting your "breaking news" from TMZ.

Start worrying less about how Ellen will fit in on American Idol and more about getting your kid's teacher a ginormous salary increase.

Encourage your kids to play the violin while encouraging them to pay less attention to spoiled rich people whose stories of human tragedy and triumph always require a violin playing in the background.

Together, I know we can put an end to Syndrome Syndrome.

And, who knows, maybe someday, we'll be able to move on and work on a cure for the malady that affects us all at holiday time.

Kathy Griffin's mouth.