Sunday, May 11, 2008

"Yo...I Do Solemnly Swear.....Dawg....."


This is America.

Where stranger things have happened.

Keep that in mind.

The latest buzz has it that Hillary is trying to figure out how to bow out gracefully, bring her supporters to Obama’s table and cash them in in the form of “forcing” Obama to make her the nominee for VP.

As I write this, I’m sure the Sunday news shows are having a field day talking and talking and talking and talking about this.

And talking.

I’m only assuming because, at the moment, I’m still settling into a new residence/life and don’t have access to TV, having not yet decided whether to get overcharged and underserved by Comcast or Direct TV.

I’ve been watching classic movies and series on DVD.
Don’t feel like I’ve missed all that much, truth be told.

Meanwhile….
Here’s my layman’s take on the Hillary VP thing.

If Hillary offers to give Obama the keys to the Democratmobile, but only on the condition that O make her the VP, the Senator from Illinois is going to find himself traveled from relative obscurity to between a rock and a hard place.

Because the Senator from New York is in a position to really help.
Or really hinder.

And let’s face it.

The “math” that gives Obama more delegates than Hillary cant blind anybody to the fact that, in terms of sheer numbers of the infamous “popular vote” (defined as the actual expressed preference of people like you and me as opposed to the results of some system that makes about as much sense as calling customer service for your computer and getting somebody who speaks in such a heavy New Delhi accent that you cant understand a damn thing…), Hillary and Barack are, pretty much, equally loved.

My grandkids could figure out that the combination of those two groups of loyalists would be a tough nut for McCain to crack come November.

So, in an election year that already had more than its share of interesting moments, the whole show is about to get even more interesting.

Because regardless of ideological differences, the simple bottom line is that Obama would be hamstringing himself right out of the gate by not putting the second most popular person in the contest in the number two slot on the ticket.

Unless….

There were another equally popular alternative.
Hear me out.

After all, what’s the goal for the Democrats here?
To get their nominee elected President.

The Vice Presidency, as Herbert Hoover once observed, is no disgrace.
But no distinction either.

And its not like there’s not historical precedent for picking, shall we say, “less than ideal” running mates.

(INSERT BEN STEIN’S VOICE HERE)
“Quayle?......Quayle?..........Quayle…..?”

And….we live in a world where a pro wrestler has been governor of Minnesota, a bodybuilding movie star is currently the governor of California…

…and a B movie actor was a very popular two term President of the United States.

So, here’s my idea.

If Obama finds himself painted into the corner of “hey, you won the delegates, but I have millions and millions of votes to bring to the table/ticket and you need to make me the VP nominee unless you want me to take those millions and millions of votes and walk away”, it might appear that he has no practical choice but to resign himself to giving Hillary an office in the West Wing.

And hiring all male interns to keep Bill in line.

Au contrare, mon amis…..

There’s another very popular public figure who would probably not only bring just as many millions of votes to the table as Hillary, but would totally stay out of Obama’s way as he works to create a whole new way of doing things at 1600 Pennsylvania.

Come to think of it…there’s two other very popular public figures who would fit the bill and give Barack the cover he needs to send Hillary and Bill back to Hope.

David Cook.
David Archuleta.

Whichever one ends up the gracious loser on “Idol”.

Well, okay, so we’d have to amend the Constitution to lower the minimum age required to be Vice President.

But, like I said at the outset.

This is America.
Where stranger things have happened.

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