We Pull The Levers...But They Call The Shots....

If, God forbid, there are plans for another major attack by terrorists on American soil, I’m thinking that it probably won’t happen before November 5.

Primarily because I think those wack jobs disguised as religious heroes who call themselves Al-Qaeda would prefer to see Barack Obama elected president.

And November 5 is the days after the election when we will, presumably, know who the next president is.

Unless, of course, Florida chads, Katherine Harris, Jeb Bush and the Supreme Court decide to reprise their little zany comedy routine from 2000.

And it’s not that Obama doesn’t have every intention of battling the bad guys.

But with McCain, the Qaeda boys and girls pretty much know what they’re going to get from the get go.

John Wayne meets George W. Bush.

In other words, more of the same.
And probably a little more than that.

McCain, after all, served some serious time in his military career and isn’t likely to take a lot of crap from those who would harm us.
And so he would be very likely to continue to policies of Bush, who in his own military career…oh..wait….

Never mind.

With Obama, on the other hand, they don’t really know what they’re getting.

And for them, it’s almost the inverse of the old saying.

Better to dance with the devil you don’t know than the devil you do.

And despite the fact that McCain appears to be the underdog in this election, his fortunes would change overnight if this country experienced another 9/11 prior to the election.

Because in the event of a fire, you’re gonna want to immediately hire the white haired guy who totally knows his way around the fire station as opposed to the young, clearly talented but inexperienced, rookie who hasn’t been big blaze tested.

Right now?

Americans aren’t all that fired up about the war over there.

Because too many of them are busy fighting the war over here.

Homes being foreclosed.
Gas prices sucking the life out of household budgets.
An historic record low number of people who support, let alone trust, the leaders they have elected.

And nearly seven years after that horrific day when we were bitchslapped in New York City, Washington DC and that field in Pennsylvania, chances are the only people who still have September 11 at the beginning of their list of daily thoughts are those who lost loved ones that day.

So, at the risk of oversimplifying it a bit, the election at this point boils down to a choice between the guy who represents the best chance to win the war over here and the guy who represents the best chance to win the war over there.

And, as I said, out of sight out of mind being what it is, most people are focused on the war over here.

Al Qaeda is lots of things.

Evil.
Dangerous.
Satanic.

But not stupid.

And they have to know that the one sure way to get John McCain elected President of the United States is to bump thoughts of 9/11 back to the front of every voter’s list of thoughts.

We’d all like to think that we have the outcome of this election in our hands because it’s our votes that will determine that outcome.

And that’s true.

It’s our votes that will determine the outcome.

But it’s their actions or lack of action that will determine our votes.

Like you, I sincerely hope that no more Americans have to die in the cause of freedom on our own soil.

And like you, I’m not naïve enough to think that just because the government tells us that we’re safer from outside attack than we were September 11 that we really are safer.

But it’s fair to say we are.

At least until November 5.

"Shut the Hell Up...and Talk To Me...."

Now that we’ve gotten that pesky fourth of July celebration of our freedom out of the way, we can get busy celebrating something that really matters.

July is National Cell Phone Courtesy Month.

A tradition since 2002, according to my research.

As you can imagine, I have a thought or two to share with you, but first, take just a moment to read the “rules of etiquette” when it comes to cell phone use.

1. Be all there. When you’re in a meeting, performance, courtroom or other busy area, let calls go to voicemail to avoid a disruption. In some instances, turning your phone off may be the best solution.

2. Keep it private. Be aware of your surroundings and avoid discussing private or confidential information in public. You never know who may be in hearing range.

3. Keep your cool. Don’t display anger during a public call. Conversations that are likely to be emotional should be held where they will not embarrass or intrude on others.

4. Learn to vibe. Use your wireless phone’s silent or vibration settings in public places such as business meetings, religious services, schools, restaurants, theaters or sporting events so that you do not disrupt your surroundings.

5. Avoid “cell yell.” Remember to use your regular conversational tone when speaking on your wireless phone. People tend to speak more loudly than normal and often don’t recognize how distracting they can be to others.

6. Follow the rules. Some places, such as hospitals or airplanes, restrict or prohibit the use of mobile phones, so adhere to posted signs and instructions. Some jurisdictions may also restrict mobile phone use in public places.

7. Excuse yourself. If you are expecting a call that can’t be postponed, alert your companions ahead of time and excuse yourself when the call comes in; the people you are with should take precedence over calls you want to make or receive.

8. Send a message. Use Text Messaging to send and receive messages without saying a single word.

9. Watch and listen discreetly. New multimedia applications such as streaming video and music are great ways to stay informed and access the latest entertainment. However, adjust the volume based on your surroundings in much the same way that you would adjust your ringer volume. Earphones are a great way to avoid distracting others in public areas.

10. Alert silently. When using your phone’s walkie-talkie feature, send the person you’re trying to reach a Call Alert before starting to speak. If you’re around other people, turn off your phone’s external speaker and use the vibration setting to minimize any disturbance and to respect your contact’s privacy.

Okay.

First, I’m totally fascinated with the fact that we all apparently have so much to say to each other that we cant go more than a few minutes without having to plaster the thing to our faces, no matter where we are.

All that chatter.

Especially in a world where holding a door open for someone in a public place is most often met with silence.

Then again, maybe I’m being unduly harsh.

I haven’t checked all of my voicemails.

Maybe there’s a thank you in there somewhere.

Second, fan of irony that I am, I cant help but enjoy witnessing people not paying attention to what the person standing in front of them is saying.

Because they’re too busy talking to the person who isn’t standing in front of them.
On the cell.

I think cell phones are, like so many other technological advances, a remarkable creation.

They have eliminated the fear and concern we used to experience when being out on the highway, between exits and realizing that our CHECK ENGINE light has just popped on.

With a cell phone, you’re never stranded.

And you’re never more than a quick speed dial away from fire or police protection.
But I think it would be cool if our social advancement managed to keep pace with our technological advancement.

And we didn’t have to set aside a special month to remind ourselves to be courteous to one another.

As always, I could be wrong.

If you think so, feel free to let me know.

Call me.

If you get the voicemail, leave a message.

I’m probably just actually talking to the kid behind the fast food counter instead of answering my phone and pointing at the menu.