"They Said, Work Saturday and Sunday...and Take Off Monday Through Friday...and We Said "WHAT!?..And Give Up Our Weekends?"

Some things are as inevitable as the sunrise.

A piece of bread that gets dropped will almost surely land jelly side down.

A mouse that’s given a cookie will almost surely ask for a glass of milk.

And a government looking for ways to increase efficiency and stop waste will almost surely bend over backwards finding ways to increase efficiency.

Without ever putting a dent in the waste.

Here’s the latest “it’s broke, so let’s do everything but fix it” from the capital of the First State.

DOVER, Del. - Delaware lawmakers are considering shortening the work week for some state workers from five days a week to four. But, there is a catch, employees would still have to work the same number of hours.

By having non-essential state employees work only four days a week, some state officials said they could save workers and the state money.

"People would still work 40 hours a week, they would just travel to work four times a week instead of five times and you save on gas, time and stress," said Representative Nancy Wagner.

Officials said State Police would not be affected by the proposal and neither would Delaware's public schools.

According to the legislation, lawmakers said just having fewer people in state offices could save on administrative costs. Some state employees said they would not mind having a four-day work week.

Other state employees said they do not want to work later into the evening and they do not want to be forced to change their schedules. Lawmakers said state agencies would decide whether to make the four-day week mandatory or voluntary.

I think the networks are missing a serious bet by not creating a new reality series that follows legislators around as they dream up these plans and schemes and get ambushed into justifying the real reason that they’re planning and scheming.

Think Michael Moore meets “Moment of Truth”.

Speaking of the real reason…want to take a peek?

Try these on for size.

In 1999 the U.S. government spent $1,500,000 million to promote silk production in Laos

In 1999 the U.S. government spent $1 ,000,000 for the "eradication of Brown Tree Snakes" (Hawaii).

In 1999 the U.S. government spent $1,000,000 to "develop and train Alaska natives for employment in the petroleum industry."

In 1999 the U.S. government spent $500,000 for water taxis in Savannah (Georgia)

In 1999 the U.S. government spent $200,000 for a transit center for the Toledo Mud Hens minor league baseball team.

In 1999 $1,200,000 million to subsidize a park on the Galapagos Islands.

In 2000 the U.S. government spent $100,000 to study the causes of sediment buildup at a Santa Cruz, New Mexico dam.

In 2002 the U.S. government spent $50,000 for a tattoo removal program in San Luis Obispo, California.

In 2002 the U.S. government spent $400,000 for the Montana Sheep Institute to improve the profitability of the state's sheep industry.

And, of course, the one that cant help but sum up all of the others…

In 1999 the U.S. government spent $500,000 for a Mississippi research project on "manure handling and disposal".

Actually, every state has its own fully funded system of manure handling.

It’s called the legislature.

And they’ve already tried that four day work week thing.

Hell, sometimes they're off for days and weeks at a time.

Obviously, it’s not making things anymore efficient.

And the system provides for manure disposal, as well.

It’s called Election Day.

Apparently, that’s not working so well either

Because there still seems to be an awful lot of money being wasted.

Not to worry, though

Our “leaders” will inevitably spend a whole lot of money on a study to find out why so much money is being wasted.

Just as soon as they get back from their three day weekend.

Some Kids Never Grow Up....They Just Become CEO's...

“But, Mom….Dad…..everybody else is doing it…!”

If you’re a parent of a kid over the age of 6, you know the drill.

Probably the first time in life that a child instinctively tries to simultaneously do what ever they want to do, regardless of the right or wrong of it, while self teaching one of life’s most basic lessons.

There’s safety in numbers.

And what, fellow parents, is the time tested, never fail to shut em up response to their self serving logic?
Right.

“Well, if everybody else jumped off a cliff, would you want to do it, too?”

Downcast eyes. Sad voice.

“….no……”

Nothing new going on here. That argument has been offered up by kids since the days of T Rex.

And parents since day one have pretty much shot down said argument the very first time their kid draws and fires.

Too bad we don’t stick to our guns when it comes to dealing with the grown ups who pull that trick.

They’ve been getting away with it for years.
They’re getting away with it as we speak.

Yesterday, CEO’s from various and sundry major oil companies were in Washington, DC “testifying” in front of Congress and trying to explain why they think their companies should continue to get tax breaks when they collectively made 143 billion dollars in profits last year and we’re paying almost four dollars a gallon for gasoline.

Personally, I say screw the tax breaks, I’d like to hear them explain why they shouldn’t go to jail for taking home that kind of money while people are falling behind in their house payments so they can drive their cars to get to work.

Let alone heat their houses.

Obviously, you can guess what the wheels had to say.

One VP from ExxonMobil said that the industry knows that fuel costs are hurting people but they say it’s not their fault and their profits are in line with other industries.

It’s that last part that hit me right between the gas pumps.

“…profits are in line with other industries….”

In other words…

“…But…Mr. Consumer….Mrs. Consumer….everybody else is doing it…!

The transparent attempt at justifying totally obscene profits would be funny and somewhat poignant, given the way it makes us all think back to the days of raising our little schemers.
Or even the days when we were the little schemers.

And we’ve all heard the standard drone that in a free market economy, there is no such thing as too much profit..

Making more money than God is the centerpiece of the American dream.
That’s how capitalism works.

But when I have so much food in my cupboard I cant close the door and my neighbor is starving to death, common sense, let alone common decency, dictates that I should share the wealth.

That’s how compassion works.

And what does compassion have to do with business, it might be asked?
Nothing.

That’s my point.

Judge not, the old Scripture goes, but I cant help but wonder what these fat cat folks with more money than morals are gonna offer up when they have to stand and the gate and justify their gasoline gouging gluttony.

“…But, God……everybody else was doing it…..”

“ Well, when everyone else was jumping off a cliff, did you want to do it, too?”

Downcast eyes. Sad voice.

“…no….”

“Right….now go to Hell.”