More on that in a few.
First, though, here's the latest from the "cold dead fingers" file.
A Georgia man panicked parents and children at a local park and baseball field by randomly walking around and displaying his gun to anyone he encountered in the parking lot.
According to witnesses who spoke with WSB-TV, the man wandered around the Forsythe County park last Tuesday night showing his gun to strangers, telling them “there’s nothing you can do about it.”
“Anyone who was just walking by – you had parents and children coming in for the game – and he’s just standing here, walking around [saying] ‘You want to see my gun? Look, I got a gun and there’s nothing you can do about it.’ He knew he was frightening people. He knew exactly what he was doing,” said parent Karen Rabb.
Rabb said that the man’s intimidating behavior panicked parents causing them to hustle children who were there to play baseball to safety after the man refused to leave.
“It got to the point where we took the kids and brought them into the dugout and the parents lined up in front of the dugout,” Rabb said.
Police report they received 22 calls to 911 reporting the man.
After deputies arrived, they questioned the man who produced a permit for the handgun. According to authorities, since the man made no verbal threats or gestures, they couldn’t arrest him or ask him to leave.
Forsythe Sheriff Duane Piper said that he didn’t believe the parents and children were in any danger but, even though the man was within his rights to carry the gun, he found the gun carriers conduct inappropriate.
“We support the constitutional right to bear arms. We will not tolerate bad behavior,” said the sheriff.
Parent Paris Horton, whose son was playing on the baseball diamond at the time of the incident, questioned the man’s motives.
“Why would anyone be walking around a public park, with a lot of children and parents and people here playing baseball, and he’s walking around with a gun?” said Horton. “I don’t think the parents would have been nervous had he just had the gun in his holster and was just watching the game.”
Rabb told a reporter that her 6-year-old son Ethan, who was playing on the field, later asked her about the man.
“When I was reading my son’s story last night, he turned to me and said ‘Mommy, did that man want to kill me?’” said a tearful Rabb.
A reporter from WSB contacted the man, whose name was not disclosed, and he refused to discuss the incident.
The State of Georgia recently liberalized their gun laws allowing owners to carry their weapons into churches, schools, libraries and bars.
First, let's do our stretching exercises together so that we can, at the very least, give our best effort at bending over backwards here.
And resist the temptation to waste any time attempting to scramble up and/or inevitably go sliding back down the slippery slope of what, exactly, the "right to bear arms" actually means or, more importantly, what the framers had exactly in mind when they framed.
Let's try to come at it from a little different angle.
Say, instead of a 45 or 90 degree, let's give .357 a shot.
Pun absolutely intended.
The problem with any discussion, debate, argument, et al regarding that wacky, zany fun filled piece of Constitutional comedy commonly referred to as the 2nd Amendment is that said discussion, debate, argument, et al almost always misses the target.
Not to mention the point.
The issue has, I strongly believe a jury could be convinced, never been about morality, legality or even politics.
It's about mathematics.
Long division, to be precise.
And a pesky little equation entity arithmetic teachers teach us, somewhere around the first or second grade, as I recall, known as the lowest common denominator.
The entity that, in fact, if you think about it for only marginally longer than it takes for the bullet to leave the barrel, is really at the heart of just about every regulation, rule, ordinance and/or law that has ever found its way into existence and/or enforcement.
Put less verbosely...
Laws are written for losers.
35 MPH in a residential neighborhood.
Not because you need to be reminded that it takes a certain amount of distance to come to a complete stop should a neighborhood child come darting into the street and a reduced speed gives you a much better statistical chance of coming to that complete stop before launching that kid from your front end to their worldly end.
But because some loser will almost always tear through the neighborhood at 80 if the speed limit isn't 35.
And a 35 MPH limit, at least, increases the odds that the loser will tear through at only, say, 45 or 50 max.
Loud music may not be played after 10PM.
Not because you need to be reminded that night time is very often the time when people give sleep their best effort so they can arise the next day refreshed and prepared to make a living to support their family and contribute positively to the community and prohibiting you from blasting "Yeezus" from your home and/or car windows late at night makes it possible for that body reenergizing to take place.
But because some loser, blissfully oblivious to the fairly well known concept that there are other people in the universe, will almost always blast "Yeezus" from their home or car window late at night because they feel like it.
In this case, most likely the same loser who listens to "Yeezus" in the first place and also thinks it a disgrace and denigration that Kim hasn't been given her own star on the Hollywood Walk.
Were it not for the loser, there would be no need for law.
Common sense, common courtesy, basic human decency, respect, even a warm embrace of the idea of loving one another as He has loved us would prevail.
In this life, turns out, not so much.
In fact, hell, no, not so much.
Hell, as in, ice cube's chance in.
And so we legislate and regulate and ordinate and mandate.
Because we can't make the serious, potentially fatal, mistake of assuming that common sense, common courtesy, basic human decency, respect or even a warm embrace of the idea of loving one another as He has loved us will prevail.
Some loser will always do 80 in a 35, play "Yeezus" after 10PM.
And wave a loaded gun around a park filled with children.
If, for no other reason, just because they can.
Legally.
At least in Georgia.
It's about mathematics.
Numbers don't lie.
And every day, somewhere, it all comes down to the lowest common denominator.
And losers.
One other statistic bears scrutiny.
The capacity for listening to reason available to those who fall into that lowest common denominator bracket.
Numerically speaking, it amounts to squat.
Or zip.
Because experience has shown us, irrefutably, that losers, according to all available data, are, as a rule, stupid.
And communicating to them the need to slow down, turn it down or keep it holstered is an exercise in wasted time.
Because they're stupid.
Which brings us back to the aforementioned big news on the medical front.
This just in.
Loser waves loaded weapon in a park full of children playing ball.
Because he can.
Because he's stupid.
And researchers announce this to be the latest, empirical evidence of what has long been believed.
Stupidity causes deafness.
At least in Georgia.
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