Those who know me at all knew that wasn't going to last long.
Correctamundo.
First, though, let's check the change jar for the latest coinage.
Advance sales for "Paula Deen's New Testament: 250 Favorite Recipes All Lightened Up" sent it skyrocketing to the top of Amazon.com's best-seller list this week, though it wasn't scheduled to be released until October.
Refunds for those who pre-ordered the book will be handled by the various retailers, said Random House spokesman Stuart Applebaum.
Earlier Friday, JCPenny and Sears said they would stop selling her products.
On Thursday, Home Depot and Target which both sold Paula Deen-branded kitchen and cookware, decided to end their deals with Deen, prompting her to seek assistance from a crisis-management firm.
Drugmaker Novo Nordisk suspended its relationship with her, and home shopping channel QVC said it had also "decided to take a pause" from selling Deen's products.
"Paula won't be appearing on any upcoming broadcasts, and we will phase out her product assortment on our online sales channels over the next few months. We all think it's important, at this moment, for Paula to concentrate on responding to the allegations against her and on her path forward," said QVC president Mike George in a letter.
George's letter went on to say that the company believes in second chances and this may not be a "forever decision" for QVC.
Deen, who is famous for her fondness of butter and other unhealthy foods, has been mired in controversy before. Last year, after months of rumors, she admitted to having been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and said she would be the spokeswoman for Novo Nordisk's "Diabetes in a New Light" educational campaign. Novo Nordisk manufactures Victoza -- an injectable, non-insulin drug used in the treatment of type 2 diabetes.
In an attempt to stop the hemorrhaging, Paula Deen hired Smith & Company, the crisis-management firm run by Judy Smith -- the inspiration for the hit ABC show Scandal -- according to a source familiar with the arrangement. Smith has served as a consultant for a host of high-profile clients including Monica Lewinski, Michael Vick and Wesley Snipes.
Deen's latest troubles began almost two weeks ago when a deposition in a discrimination lawsuit was released in which she admitted using the n-word in the past. Dean has insisted she does not tolerate prejudice, but her apologies failed to suppress the controversy.
Wal-Mart which sold Paula Deen branded baked goods, cookware, dishware and kitchen appliances, and Caesars which operated Paula Deen-themed restaurants at four of its casinos, cut Deen loose on Wednesday.
Pork producer Smithfield Foods, with a line of Deen-branded hams, dropped her as a spokeswoman on Monday. Last week, the Food Network said it wouldn't renew Deen's contract when it expires at the end of the month.
At this stage of the circus, in the midst of the cacophony of a million voices castigating and a billion stones being cast, four, and only four, succinct words sum up the brouhaha for me.
A. Little. Bit. Pregnant.
In the private conversations that I've had, to date, with friends and peers on the subject of this silly tsunami, I've avoided being sucked into the tar pit of debating whether Paula Deen is a racist or whether her use of the N word constitutes a moral offense so egregious that she deserves to be cast as Heather Prynne with a greasy spatula, sentenced to wear a fancy embroidered "R" , as opposed to the infamous"A". on her Southern frock for the duration.
My attitude about it all is a little less complicated.
See the previously stated four succinct words.
And here's how the logic looks on my own little spreadsheet.
If Paula Deen is to see her ass, and life, southern fried in the crucible of public opinion, let's, at the very least, stop tippy toeing all around this word that, with mere utterance, is causing fortunes to be lost and lives to be changed.
And just say it.
Out loud.
With all due respect.
The word is nigger.
And, once again, holding fast to my determination to not be sucked into hours of wasted time engaging in the discussion, debate and/or argument about the complexities of how that single word seemingly has such enormous powers of destruction, I've boiled it down, or chicken fried it, as the case may be, to what seems, to me, to be the essence of the recipe.
The word "nigger" is either offensive.
Or it is not.
The fact that hundreds of thousands of people, not to mention, dozens of corporate suits, seem to think that the word is, in fact, offensive, would lead those who might have yet to make up their mind about the matter, to come down on the side of propriety and join the chorus calling for Paula Deen's shish-ka-bobbing.
On the other hand, however, there is a fairly sizeable group of people that apparently doesn't subscribe to the salaciousness of said syllables.
And that would be any and all members of the culture, of any and all races, creeds and/or colors, who believe that while usage of the word "nigger" is unacceptable as a denigration, it is, in fact, not only acceptable, but even assumed appropriate when used as, among other things, a greeting, a commiseration or even as an affectionate exchange between those who find the word worthy of inclusion on the long list of everyday words that people use to greet, commiserate and/or affectionately exchange with one another.
Words like, say, pal.
Or buddy.
Or sweetie.
Or, even, friend.
As in, "what's up, pal?"
Or "you is one crazy buddy".
Or even "that's some serious shit, sweetie".
Or, "so, you liked knocked up that Kardashian, friend?"
Even "what is your problem, amigo?"
But that last word inches us close to another potential kettle of politically incorrect piranha, so let's andale, andale right on past that.
Historians, sociologists, race relations educators and/or experts and/or hip hop music fans will attest that the use of the word "nigger", in certain, and many, contexts is apparently both acceptable and appropriate.
So, simple, basic, primary logical thought inevitably pops the simple, basic, primary question.
Why is Paula Deen being stoned at the gates, not to mention the bank and stock market?
Because she used a racial slur?
Well, wouldn't the term "slur" indicate the use of an offensive word?
Which will bring us back to do, re, mi and the question that no one still has been able to answer to everyone's moral certainty.
Is the word "nigger" offensive?
It is either is.
Or it isn't.
Because it has to be one or the other.
A. Little. Bit. Pregnant.
And until that question is answered to everyone's moral certainty, Paula Deen, no matter how ignorant, uneducated and/or socially stunted she might be, is being shunned for committing an offense that, in the big picture, has yet to be determined to be an offense.
Saying that she has, in fact, used the word, and I say this with all due respect...
Nigger.
Until a clear and consistent determination is made, these little jabs at justice remain a joke.
A joke that Paula Deen, for one, certainly doesn't find funny.
Cause, personally, I can understand why she ain't laughin', nigger.
With all due respect.
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